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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Bottles
Supposed
Americans
Taken
Anything
Offhand
Back
Pill
Cotton
Pills

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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
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The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.
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I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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