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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Everything
Good
Smaller
Life
Expensive
Third
Thirds
Yesterday
Rule
Today
More quotes by Andy Rooney
Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
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It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
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I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
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I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry the other half hated President Bush.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
Andy Rooney
