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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Thirds
Yesterday
Rule
Today
Everything
Good
Smaller
Life
Expensive
Third

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
Andy Rooney
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
Andy Rooney
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
Andy Rooney
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
Andy Rooney
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
Andy Rooney
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Being kind is more important than being right.
Andy Rooney
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Andy Rooney
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It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
Andy Rooney
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
Andy Rooney
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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
Andy Rooney
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Andy Rooney
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
Andy Rooney
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I like animals who trust people.
Andy Rooney
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.
Andy Rooney
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
Andy Rooney
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
Andy Rooney
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
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I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
Andy Rooney