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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Dies
Automobile
Keep
July
Many
Weekend
Going
Reports
Things
Accidents
Telling
News
Sure
More quotes by Andy Rooney
the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
Andy Rooney
I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
Andy Rooney
I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection.
Andy Rooney
It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
Andy Rooney
Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
Andy Rooney
Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
Andy Rooney
Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
Andy Rooney
Walking is good for the soul.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
Andy Rooney
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
Andy Rooney
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
Andy Rooney
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Andy Rooney
I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
Andy Rooney
Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
Andy Rooney
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Andy Rooney
If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
Andy Rooney
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
Andy Rooney