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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
President
Enough
Believe
Suspicious
Thinking
Ego
Thinks
Smart
Already
Anyone

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The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
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I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
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Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
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