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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Thinks
Smart
Already
Anyone
President
Enough
Believe
Suspicious
Thinking
Ego

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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
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Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.
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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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Great teachers are usually a little crazy.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
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