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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Money
Crack
Give
Babies
Cracks
Stooges
Giving
Belongs
Comb
Believe
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Make
Wants
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Family
Governmental
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More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
Andy Rooney
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Andy Rooney
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
Andy Rooney
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
Andy Rooney
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Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
Andy Rooney
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
Andy Rooney
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
Andy Rooney
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
Andy Rooney
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
Andy Rooney
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Andy Rooney
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
Andy Rooney
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
Andy Rooney
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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
Andy Rooney
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
Andy Rooney
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
Andy Rooney