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A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Idea
Ideas
Something
Good
Time
Cat
Kill

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
Andy Rooney
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Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
Andy Rooney
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
Andy Rooney
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Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
Andy Rooney
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
Andy Rooney
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
Andy Rooney
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
Andy Rooney
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
Andy Rooney
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Andy Rooney
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
Andy Rooney
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Andy Rooney
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
Andy Rooney
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.
Andy Rooney
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
Andy Rooney