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Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Late
Worth
Whatever
Staying
Bed
More quotes by Andy Rooney
Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney
I like animals who trust people.
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
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If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
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I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
Andy Rooney
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
Andy Rooney
Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
Andy Rooney
Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
Andy Rooney
Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Andy Rooney
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Andy Rooney
American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.
Andy Rooney
There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
Andy Rooney
Walking is good for the soul.
Andy Rooney
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Andy Rooney
Everyone hates war, everyone says.
Andy Rooney
I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
Andy Rooney
If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
Andy Rooney