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There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Parlors
Parlor
Beauties
Beauty

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
Andy Rooney
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
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I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.
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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
Andy Rooney
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There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
Andy Rooney
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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney
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Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.
Andy Rooney
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
Andy Rooney
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Andy Rooney
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
Andy Rooney
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
Andy Rooney
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
Andy Rooney