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There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Parlors
Parlor
Beauties
Beauty

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
Andy Rooney
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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
Andy Rooney
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
Andy Rooney
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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
Andy Rooney
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
Andy Rooney
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
Andy Rooney
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
Andy Rooney
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
Andy Rooney
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
Andy Rooney
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
Andy Rooney
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
Andy Rooney
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
Andy Rooney
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
Andy Rooney
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
Andy Rooney
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
Andy Rooney
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
Andy Rooney
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
Andy Rooney
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
Andy Rooney
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
Andy Rooney