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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Life
Majors
Pleasurable
Major
Shortcomings
Tend
Sensation
Feeling
Petty
Feelings
Strike
Back
Threatened
Even
Sensations
Things
Strikes
Vindictive

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
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Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Andy Rooney
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I like animals who trust people.
Andy Rooney
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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Andy Rooney
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
Andy Rooney
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
Andy Rooney
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Andy Rooney