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I just wish insignificance had more stature.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Insignificance
Stature
Wish

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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
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I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
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There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
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