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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Years
Bill
Suppose
Bills
Underwood
Six
Typewriter
Seven
Typewriters
Computer
Computers
Rich
Gates
Business
Bought
More quotes by Andy Rooney
Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
Andy Rooney
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
Andy Rooney
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Andy Rooney
Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
Andy Rooney
The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
Andy Rooney
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
Andy Rooney
Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney
Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
Andy Rooney
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Andy Rooney
We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
Andy Rooney
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
Andy Rooney
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
Andy Rooney
The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
Andy Rooney
Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
Andy Rooney
