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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Six
Typewriter
Seven
Typewriters
Computer
Computers
Rich
Gates
Business
Bought
Years
Bill
Suppose
Bills
Underwood

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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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I've learned... That money doesn't buy class.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
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