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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Missing
Getting
Better
Time
Bus
Airplane
Early

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
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We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Andy Rooney
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
Andy Rooney
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
Andy Rooney
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
Andy Rooney
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People like to say, You're only as old as you feel, but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
Andy Rooney
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Andy Rooney
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
Andy Rooney
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
Andy Rooney
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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