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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Almost
Better
Always
Popping
Shut
Keeping
Mouth
Mouths
Stop

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Every one starts out being an atheist.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
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