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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Always
Popping
Shut
Keeping
Mouth
Mouths
Stop
Almost
Better

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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
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The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
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Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
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