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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Shut
Keeping
Mouth
Mouths
Stop
Almost
Better
Always
Popping

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
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Unfortunately, propaganda works.
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
Andy Rooney
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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
Andy Rooney
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I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
Andy Rooney
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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
Andy Rooney
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
Andy Rooney