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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Anything
Modern
Blender
Way
Happen
Warranty
Never
Break
Blenders
Like
Face
Appliances
Though
Breaks
American
Covered
Faces
Send
Happens
Anyway
Appliance
More quotes by Andy Rooney
People like to say, You're only as old as you feel, but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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Every one starts out being an atheist.
Andy Rooney
It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
Andy Rooney
The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
Andy Rooney
Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
Andy Rooney
There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
Andy Rooney
I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
Andy Rooney
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.
Andy Rooney
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
Andy Rooney
Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
Andy Rooney
American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.
Andy Rooney
A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
Andy Rooney