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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Assistants
Washington
Asks
Tell
Someone
Government
Something
Confidential
Assistant
More quotes by Andy Rooney
My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
Andy Rooney
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
Andy Rooney
I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
Andy Rooney
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Andy Rooney
Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
Andy Rooney
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
Andy Rooney
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
Andy Rooney
The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
Andy Rooney
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Andy Rooney
We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
Andy Rooney
No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
Andy Rooney
I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
Andy Rooney
My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
Andy Rooney
Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
Andy Rooney
Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
Andy Rooney
The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
Andy Rooney
