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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Washington
Asks
Tell
Someone
Government
Something
Confidential
Assistant
Assistants

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
Andy Rooney
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Walking is good for the soul.
Andy Rooney
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
Andy Rooney
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
Andy Rooney
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
Andy Rooney
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
Andy Rooney
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
Andy Rooney
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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
Andy Rooney
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
Andy Rooney
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
Andy Rooney
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Unfortunately, propaganda works.
Andy Rooney
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
Andy Rooney
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.
Andy Rooney
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
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I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection.
Andy Rooney
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
Andy Rooney
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Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.
Andy Rooney