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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Mets
Internet
Probably
Someone
Murdered
Deserved
Date

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
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Familiar things are a comfort to us all.
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Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
Andy Rooney
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
Andy Rooney
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Andy Rooney
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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
Andy Rooney
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
Andy Rooney
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
Andy Rooney
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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
Andy Rooney
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When you get older you have to be careful about always saying, Things aren't as good as they used to be. But it's hard not to.
Andy Rooney
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
Andy Rooney
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
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People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
Andy Rooney
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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
Andy Rooney
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.
Andy Rooney
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
Andy Rooney
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
Andy Rooney