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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Date
Mets
Internet
Probably
Someone
Murdered
Deserved

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
Andy Rooney
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.
Andy Rooney
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
Andy Rooney
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Andy Rooney
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
Andy Rooney
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It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
Andy Rooney
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
Andy Rooney
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I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
Andy Rooney
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
Andy Rooney
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
Andy Rooney
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
Andy Rooney
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
Andy Rooney
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In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Andy Rooney