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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Trying
Draws
Comb
Work
Line
Trimming
Hair
Combs
Lines
Jacket
Nice
Jackets
Comes
Eyebrows
Look
Ties
Looks
Draw

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
Andy Rooney
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Andy Rooney
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
Andy Rooney
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
Andy Rooney
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
Andy Rooney
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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
Andy Rooney
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
Andy Rooney
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
Andy Rooney
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
Andy Rooney
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
Andy Rooney
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
Andy Rooney
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
Andy Rooney
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
Andy Rooney
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
Andy Rooney
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
Andy Rooney