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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Look
Ties
Looks
Draw
Trying
Draws
Comb
Work
Line
Trimming
Hair
Combs
Lines
Jacket
Nice
Jackets
Comes
Eyebrows

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
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The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
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Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, Could you throw this away for me?
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
Andy Rooney
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
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