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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Attraction
Understood
Wants
Around
Look
Looks
Never
Florida
Retirement
More quotes by Andy Rooney
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
Andy Rooney
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
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Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.
Andy Rooney
Unfortunately, propaganda works.
Andy Rooney
When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
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I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
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I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection.
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Every one starts out being an atheist.
Andy Rooney