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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Writing
Aloud
Suspicious
Sentence
Sentences
Easily
Written
Anyone
Read

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
Andy Rooney
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
Andy Rooney
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
Andy Rooney
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
Andy Rooney
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
Andy Rooney
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
Andy Rooney
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
Andy Rooney
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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
Andy Rooney
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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
Andy Rooney
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I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry the other half hated President Bush.
Andy Rooney
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.
Andy Rooney
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
Andy Rooney
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
Andy Rooney
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I like animals who trust people.
Andy Rooney
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
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In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.
Andy Rooney
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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
Andy Rooney
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
Andy Rooney