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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Place
Ever
Always
Time
Goes
Saying
Gone
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More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
Andy Rooney
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
Andy Rooney
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
Andy Rooney
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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
Andy Rooney
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
Andy Rooney
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Andy Rooney
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
Andy Rooney
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My most serious character flaw is that I don't deny myself much.
Andy Rooney
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Andy Rooney
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
Andy Rooney
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
Andy Rooney
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
Andy Rooney
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
Andy Rooney
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
Andy Rooney