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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Place
Ever
Always
Time
Goes
Saying
Gone
Known
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More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
Andy Rooney
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
Andy Rooney
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
Andy Rooney
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
Andy Rooney
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All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don't know what they're talking about.
Andy Rooney
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
Andy Rooney
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
Andy Rooney
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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
Andy Rooney
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Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
Andy Rooney
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Dogs are nicer than people.
Andy Rooney
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Andy Rooney
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
Andy Rooney