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Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
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More quotes by Andy Rooney

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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
Andy Rooney
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Being kind is more important than being right.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
Andy Rooney
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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
Andy Rooney
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Andy Rooney
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
Andy Rooney
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney
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Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
Andy Rooney
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It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
Andy Rooney
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
Andy Rooney
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
Andy Rooney
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
Andy Rooney
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Andy Rooney
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
Andy Rooney
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
Andy Rooney
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Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.
Andy Rooney
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Andy Rooney
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
Andy Rooney