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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Doors
House
Next
Better
Look
Looks
Likes
Door
Worse
More quotes by Andy Rooney
One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
Andy Rooney
Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
Andy Rooney
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Andy Rooney
Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
Andy Rooney
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
Andy Rooney
The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney
Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
Andy Rooney
I just wish insignificance had more stature.
Andy Rooney
I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
Andy Rooney
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Andy Rooney
A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.
Andy Rooney
One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
Andy Rooney
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Andy Rooney
We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
Andy Rooney
My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
Andy Rooney
Walking is good for the soul.
Andy Rooney
Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
Andy Rooney