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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Door
Worse
Doors
House
Next
Better
Look
Looks
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More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
Andy Rooney
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
Andy Rooney
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
Andy Rooney
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
Andy Rooney
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In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.
Andy Rooney
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
Andy Rooney
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I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
Andy Rooney
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
Andy Rooney
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
Andy Rooney
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
Andy Rooney
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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
Andy Rooney
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Great teachers are usually a little crazy.
Andy Rooney
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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
Andy Rooney
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
Andy Rooney
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
Andy Rooney
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
Andy Rooney
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
Andy Rooney