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Numbers are the most certain things we have.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Mathematics
Numbers
Certain
Things

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.
Andy Rooney
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
Andy Rooney
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
Andy Rooney
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Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Andy Rooney
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
Andy Rooney
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.
Andy Rooney
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Unfortunately, propaganda works.
Andy Rooney
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, How can he want me the way I look in the morning? It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Andy Rooney
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I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off
Andy Rooney
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Most of the people in the world are good and decent if you give them a chance to be.
Andy Rooney
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
Andy Rooney
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
Andy Rooney
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I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.
Andy Rooney
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
Andy Rooney
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
Andy Rooney
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.
Andy Rooney
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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
Andy Rooney