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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Understand
Find
Calculus
Take
Direction
Going
Mathematics
Much
Absolutely
Something
Either
Like
Ability
Interest

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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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Being kind is more important than being right.
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
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