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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Use
Machinery
Write
Electric
Someone
Pretending
Anything
Faster
Writing
Machines
Made
Thinks
Underwood
Thinking
Gave
Typewriter
Ready
Typewriters

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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
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In spite of some bad experiences, I'm a firm believer in the trial and error method of learning.
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
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I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off
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