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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
School
Kindergarten
Seems
Graduate
Need
Graduates
Needs
Fewer
Things
Schools
Life
Basic
Education
Comes
Educating

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There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
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American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
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Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
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I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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Great teachers are usually a little crazy.
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