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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Anything
Like
People
Soap
Shouldn
Smell
More quotes by Andy Rooney
There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
Andy Rooney
We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
Andy Rooney
Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.
Andy Rooney
People waiting for an elevator don't know what to do, standing with strangers. There is nothing to do. Its an uneasy time. Some press the button repeatedly as though it would help.
Andy Rooney
Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
Andy Rooney
I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
Andy Rooney
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Andy Rooney
Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
Andy Rooney
I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry the other half hated President Bush.
Andy Rooney
There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
Andy Rooney
Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
Andy Rooney
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
Andy Rooney
For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Andy Rooney
Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
Andy Rooney
All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
Andy Rooney
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
Andy Rooney
There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.
Andy Rooney