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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Scotch
Milk
Fats
Inspirational
Without
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More quotes by Andy Rooney

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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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Being kind is more important than being right.
Andy Rooney
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
Andy Rooney
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One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.
Andy Rooney
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
Andy Rooney
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My most serious character flaw is that I don't deny myself much.
Andy Rooney
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
Andy Rooney
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
Andy Rooney
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If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
Andy Rooney
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We aren't consistent in our treatment of animals.
Andy Rooney