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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Inspirational
Without
Like
Scotch
Milk
Fats

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
Andy Rooney
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
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I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
Andy Rooney
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Andy Rooney
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
Andy Rooney
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Death is a distant rumor to the young.
Andy Rooney
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
Andy Rooney
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If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.
Andy Rooney
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
Andy Rooney
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The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
Andy Rooney
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Don't keep saying, I don't know where the time goes. It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
Andy Rooney
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
Andy Rooney
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Being kind is more important than being right.
Andy Rooney
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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
Andy Rooney
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We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
Andy Rooney
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I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
Andy Rooney
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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
Andy Rooney
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
Andy Rooney