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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
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More quotes by Andy Rooney
In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
Andy Rooney
One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
Andy Rooney
The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
Andy Rooney
Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
Andy Rooney
There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
Andy Rooney
There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.
Andy Rooney
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
Andy Rooney
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
Andy Rooney
Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
Andy Rooney
I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
Andy Rooney
Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
Andy Rooney
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Andy Rooney
If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.
Andy Rooney
Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
Andy Rooney
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
Andy Rooney
I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
Andy Rooney
The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
Andy Rooney
I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
Andy Rooney