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Last night we had three small zucchini for dinner that were grown within fifty feet of our back door. I estimate they cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $371.49 each.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Small
Fifty
Within
Grown
Lasts
Dinner
Last
Somewhere
Night
Door
Zucchini
Three
Cost
Estimate
Back
Doors
Vegetables
Feet
Neighborhood

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Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
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I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection.
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
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I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
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I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
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I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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