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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Suitcase
Suitcases
Airplane
Travel
Lasts
Last
Hate

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
Andy Rooney
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All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
Andy Rooney
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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
Andy Rooney
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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
Andy Rooney
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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
Andy Rooney
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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
Andy Rooney
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost someone will take the ones you miss.
Andy Rooney
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Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
Andy Rooney
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
Andy Rooney
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Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.
Andy Rooney
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
Andy Rooney
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
Andy Rooney
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
Andy Rooney
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
Andy Rooney
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My most serious character flaw is that I don't deny myself much.
Andy Rooney
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
Andy Rooney
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
Andy Rooney
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
Andy Rooney