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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Travel
Lasts
Last
Hate
Suitcase
Suitcases
Airplane

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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Unfortunately, propaganda works.
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Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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By the time they're ready to be thrown away, most shoes are thoroughly comfortable
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When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly. ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
Andy Rooney
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
Andy Rooney
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, What are you thinking?. She doesn't care what you think.
Andy Rooney
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
Andy Rooney