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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Television
Often
Write
Wells
Well
Writing
Much
Passes
Good
Badly

More quotes by Andy Rooney

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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
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Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
Andy Rooney
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Andy Rooney
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Andy Rooney
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There are sixteen cans of coffee here together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?
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The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
Andy Rooney
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
Andy Rooney
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Andy Rooney