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I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Away
Enough
Like
Soap
Worn
Throw
Letters
Rich

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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
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The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
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The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
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Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
Andy Rooney
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If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
Andy Rooney