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I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Agree
Hear
Rather
May
Always
Think
Transparently
Thinking
Liberal
Like
Careful

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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
Andy Rooney
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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