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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Conversation
Interested
Anyone
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More quotes by Andy Rooney

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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
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If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
Andy Rooney
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If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
Andy Rooney
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
Andy Rooney
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
Andy Rooney
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
Andy Rooney
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For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Andy Rooney
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
Andy Rooney
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
Andy Rooney
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Space, like Switzerland, should be neutral.
Andy Rooney
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
Andy Rooney