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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Buying
Entire
Realize
Worth
Realizing
Women
Sausage
Littles
Waitress
Little
Pigs

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No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
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There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
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All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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Walking is good for the soul.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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