Quote

Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Little
Pigs
Buying
Entire
Realize
Worth
Realizing
Women
Sausage
Littles
Waitress

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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
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People like to say, You're only as old as you feel, but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
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Great teachers are usually a little crazy.
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.
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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
Andy Rooney
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.
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All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
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