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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Wish
Atheist
Monumental
Social
Myth
Proving
True
Institutions
Myths
Something
Based
Accumulation
Toward
Institution
Prove
Directed
Built
Customs
Hoax
Religion
Appears
Hoaxes
More quotes by Andy Rooney
Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.
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I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
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Finding the tool is often half the battle.
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When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.
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Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.
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If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Andy Rooney
I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
Andy Rooney
Dogs are nicer than people.
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