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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
Andy Rooney
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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Religion
Appears
Hoaxes
Wish
Atheist
Monumental
Social
Myth
Proving
True
Institutions
Myths
Something
Based
Accumulation
Toward
Institution
Prove
Directed
Built
Customs
Hoax
More quotes by Andy Rooney
The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
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It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
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I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
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The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.
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Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it.
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
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I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
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We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.
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I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
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