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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
Sure
Religion
Understand
Think
Thinking
Offend
People
Nonsense
Atheist
Saying

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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.
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the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
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I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading Confused.
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'
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I'd like to be rich enough so I could throw soap away after the letters are worn off
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