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I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry the other half hated President Bush.

Andy Rooney

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Andy Rooney
Age: 92 †
Born: 1919
Born: January 14
Died: 2011
Died: November 4
Journalist
Screenwriter
War Correspondent
Writer
Albany
New York
Andrew Aitken Andy Rooney
Andrew Aitken Rooney
President
Divided
Business
Liberal
Tell
Bush
Believe
Hated
Time
Liked
Evenly
People
News
Kerry
Almost
Senator
Half
Senators

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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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Almost all of us have an elevator or two in our lives somewhere. We wait for them, we ride on them. We're annoyed by the wait but pleased with the lift.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, Married! and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
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I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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The best thing about a vacation is planning it.
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I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.
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